Oh, for the love of ... queuing!

As a child of another culture brought up in Britain, I have a view on certain aspects of life that are diametrically opposite.

For instance, queuing.

The typical asian mentality is a much more selfish affair where your own needs take priority, with no pity or support given to anyone else. If you see someone ahead of you holding others up, there will be no standing in silence, seeking out what the problem is etc. Instead what you see is a steam pressure slowly but surely reaching to critical point before bursting. However the touchpaper is very short, if at all existant, and comments will be fired and general murumur of discontent beings to rise. Not enough attendants is usually high on the list of comments which actually translates into "I should have a personal attendant just for me".
Also, in this dog eat dog world, queuing is definitely not what is required. Instead, what you must do is go straight to the front, to gain access to the required service. Only every person is also doing it. What you eventually end up with is a big bulbous crowd pivoting at the front and internal queues are sometimes developed within this mass. Selfishness isn't in their dictionary as it's not a term to describe a fellow asian - it's what they are!

Now contrast this with the British love for queuing. People would stand there in silence, waiting for their turn as all good things come to those that wait. No matter what happens in front, be it a robbery or child birth, their turn will eventually come. An orderly queuing system is created and due to the service levels, they've developed snaking lines that manage to pack in 5x the number of people in the space that is humanly possible which can deceive the casual passer-by. The epitome of civilised and orderly society.

When these two different mindsets come together, the rule of thumb tends to be the winner - the man with the largest voice has the say. So you get the more forceful people pushing their way to the front, demanding the service they are due whilst the rest just look in silent disdain and continue to wait, not understanding what these people are thinking. Such barbaric and uncouth behaviour still exists in the world?

So there I stand, in a queue at a bank with 10 or so ahead of me. There's only 3 attendants at the desks and for whatever reason, it is taking them several minutes just to get cash out. Why couldn't they just use the cash machine outside if they're just withdrawing money? You can get a statement printed there too! Oh well, I'll just carry on waiting.
I realise there are several couples ahead of me. Bonus. Fewer sets of people needing the attendants, things are looking up.
10 minutes and 1 metre later, one of the attendants leaves her desk to call her manager over for assistance to a man who is clearly vexed at how difficult they can make the simplest of requests but has no other choice but to stand there, embarrassed at the knowledge that he is holding up a fair number of people but powerless to do anything as his card is across the inch thick glass protecting the attendants from a slap of common sense. Still, my turn will come.
Some people have lost the will to survive at a conscious level and remain there in idle mode with just rudimentary survival techniques, such as breathing, operating. So much so that others have to wake them and direct them to an available attendant - I do not begrudge these people as my conciousness has walked out the bank 15minutes ago and probably tucked in bed by now.
As I walk around to the first line of the queuing snake, I see someone who has walked through 20minutes of her life to get to the moment where they speak to the attendant only to not have filled in the deposit form and so is busy filling out the form at the front, taking valuable space and time - just why the hell would you not fill this in before? It's not as if you didn't pass the mini table with all the forms, calculators and handy pen.. what did you think that was for? Décor? Some people are so inconsiderate or just plain thick - they need to have a license to be allowed a bank account, it will make life a lot easier!
The joyous sound of the robotic voice directing to a free slot comes, I hope to hear more of these in quick succession - my time will surely come soon. As another slot becomes free and a young woman starts to walk, an Asian man comes in from nowhere to the front and tells the woman "sorry but this will be quick, I've got my car parked at front .. this will only take 1 minute. OK? Thanks" and gives his details to the attendant whilst the woman stands there stunned and her brain tries to process what just happened. Who on earth does this man think he is?! And what kind of excuse was that?! The cheek! However all's fair if you can get away with it.. no-one has complained so might as well do it.. wish I had the balls to do that, would save a lot of time!
Finally my time has come, I am at the pinnacle of the queue! One of the person finishes and leaves and I'm standing there like a sprinter in the block to move at the first sound of the robot. I'm still standing. Still standing. Why am I still standing? Then the blinds come down on the free desk, or should that be ex-free desk? Out of the 6 desks, which were only half manned, another has shut?! What kind of service is this?! And what is with my luck?!

At last my turn does appear - as I always knew it would and I go and make my transactions and it dawns on me... I have the explosive temperament of an Indian but tempered by the British culture - waiting diligently in a queue but with silent fury rising inside, able to burst at the seams and bound to give me a heart attack - the worst of both worlds! I can either go through life threatening moments everytime I enter a queue here or just get walked all over in India!

Where do you lie in the spectrum?

swallow me whole

I was going to write about something else that was bugging me but I still can't get over what happened today.

Today I had a moment that everyone has had - that single moment where you wish the earth would just open up and swallow you whole.

Today's moment was mailing a reply to a HR person about a future job movement and not realising it was a 'reply to all' - which included all other people at my grade! There was that strange moment of uncertainty when I doubted myself and felt a disturbance in the air as I clicked 'Send' however I still didn't fully understand until I was immediately inundated with Out Of Office messages by dozens of people and then realisation dawned on me.

Oh how I wanted the earth to just open up and take me and the entire building with it!

Of course, after the initial hot flush of excruciating embarrassment, you then go through anger - aimed at yourself. I spent the next few minutes sighing and berating myself for not checking properly or just clicking things too quickly.

This didn't last long as I reverted to embarrassment as friends messaged me about my error and had a laugh at my expense - I don't blame them as that would be what I'd do in their shoes!

Of course, this moment suddenly reminded me of the countless other times where I felt the whole world conspired against me to lead to that moment - all those memories you repress and blissfully forget suddenly rushed back like the time I critiqued a painting only to have the artist standing behind me or when I had a Freudian slip whilst talking to a girl!

The obvious answer that comes from all of these moments is to slow down and take some care - but then where's the fun in that?!

If you're brave enough, feel free to share your moment(s)!

Titles and Outrage

As usual with all my rants, this story begins on a car journey to work.

Listening to Radio 1, the dj had a caller on line who said he was an engineer and on further questioning on what he did, he said that he unclogged toilet pipes.

I'm not sure if I need to write any more to show how incensed we were (bear in mind that our car had two engineers and a manager who was a software engineer).

Granted, if he designed the pipes then it requires a modicum of engineering ability but to merely flush out pipes and call himself an engineer?! The UK is a sad place for real engineers as the status has been dragged through the dirt... literally with the cases of civic amenities engineers, or bin-men as you and I would call them, whereas being a doctor or a lawyer is a preserved title for the deserving.

Have you ever called BT to have your phone line fixed and been told that they will despatch an engineer?
Have you been to a car garage and seen themselves being advertised as auto-engineers?
Or maybe rang up an 'electrical engineer' to wire your house alarm?

Our culture has come to such a state that work that is not popularised by the media need to become tarted-up so the pimple-faced boy in Subway now has the title of a 'sandwich artist' and a 'custodian engineer' for a janitor.
Over into mainland Europe, engineers enjoy an acknowledged status and isn't used by every Tom, Dick or Harry in an attempt to boost their ego's from their manual jobs. It's disappointing going to a bank and when asked for profession, you get bundled with mechanic whereas teachers, lawyers, doctors all enjoy their own division.

I think it's important to realise the distinction between an engineer and all the above mentioned (and more) pretenders. Engineers are those who understand the theory and science of objects in their field.
For example an automotive engineer will know how the driveline system works, the different components and how components such as a torque convertor works and what difference changing the oil or temperature in it will do and why... but not necessarily need to know how everything is physically put together. Now the local 'auto-engineer' garage will very likely not know any of this except the building of the system, how to change parts etc. - they are mechanics.
Similarly in a science or non mechanical field, you will have the scientist and then the technician.

So when I need my phoneline fixed, I want a technician to come around and fix it, not an engineer to analyse and deliver a communications system.
When I take my car to have it's MOT done, I want a mechanic to have a look at everything rather than an engineer modelling the car and giving me an optimum gear-map.
When I want someone to press some buttons on a manufacturing line, I want a shop floor worker rather than an 'assistant production engineer'!
And when I want my road cleaned, I would want a sweeper rather than a 'throughfare hygiene engineer'!

If you ever come across these pretenders, please kindly give them my utmost outrage and tell them to stop demeaning us real engineers.

Strawberry, cream, equality and Wimbledon

The end of the tournament was today and what a final! A 30game last set which never seemed to end! And now that it is all over, I have time to make a quick complaint (seems that's all I do here!).

Traditionally women were paid less in prize money than men at Wimbledon and it was justified by the organisers as men played more sets. The difference wasn't great (a £30k difference between Nadal and Mauresmo in 2006) but it was still lobbied for equal pay and had a lot of feminists up in arms at Wimbledon as the only big championship to have the difference.

But aren't they fighting the wrong battle? Do they really concede that the work done in the shorter womens game is equal to the mens?! If this was a normal working environment such as an office, you would expect a man and woman in the same post to be on the same payrate but if the man worked more hours that he should earn more... yet why is this not the case here?

If you want equality then become equal in all that you do!

Democracy and its dark secret

The recent elections in Iran has produced a wide variety of opinions and this has got me thinking about what democracy really means.

A lot of people are claiming that the voting had been rigged as there were suspicious circumstances and coincidences involved. These folk applauded the Iranian people for rising up against the government and holding a peaceful protest as a sign of their disatisfaction and longed for similar action in their respective countries against policies and directions their governments were taking. In contrast the others are admonishing the former as sore losers as Ahmedinejad was voted in by the majority and they should accept it... this is reminiscent of the Palestine elections where Hamas won, much to the shock of others.

Countries, the US in particular, have been the first to point out the greatness of democracy and have even invaded other countries to enforce this but is this what everyone wants? Democracy is a majority-rule based system where votes are cast to decide matters but there will always be losers, it's the nature of the system. At what point do you decide the will of the people? Is 2/3 of votes enough? I'm not sure I'd take action where a third of the people were against it.

Here lies the great weakness - us humans. Each and everyone of us is naturally selfish and want things our way and complain when it doesn't. This will create an inherent rebellion and you will find a loud minority voicing their disatisfaction which will affect the others. Democracy may mean the majority get their way but at the expense of others and no-one likes losing and chances are that you will lose at least once, is this really the ideal situation or just the best of the bunch to rule the people?

Maximising Perks or Unethical?

As you're no doubt aware, unless you've been stuck in a nuclear bunker and disconnected from the world the past 3 months, scandal has hit our fair shores in the form of government 'corruption'. A bastion of democracy with a rich history and the rise of parliamentary powers over monarchy by the common people only to now find itself revealed for what it has become - a self serving collection of elected officials.

The BBC did a survey where they found half the population thought at least half of the MP's were corrupt and most had lost faith in the officials that are supposed to run the country but I'm left wondering... are people really surprised?

I had always known that wherever there is a system, people will try and game it to their advantage. From simple things like loopholes in a supermarkets voucher policy, it is only a matter of scale as you go up the tree. Was there anyone really unaware that officials would try and get away with as much as they could? Or is the real anger that it's been bluntly exposed?

The MP's get a second home allowance and have many purchases repaid, some of which do truly feel inappropriate. I work and earn a factor less than MP's yet I pay for my own food and bills, should these people get their food and bills paid for by my tax money? But are they to blame for asking for a rebate or should the system be questioned for allowing them to do so?

Rather than question the integrity of the MP's, I would rather voice my anger at the system for allowing this to happen because in all honesty, I can see myself doing the same if I was in their shoes.

Remember... power corrupts and try not judging others without questioning yourself first.

Faith Misplaced?

Once again, this topic was started in the car journey to/from work... is there any topic that we don't cover?!

Several of my colleagues have young children and a number of them have sent their children to faith schools and the question was should kids be sent to a school based on the educational standard and in a mixed cultural/religious environment or a single faith based school which would tend to have a limited demographic.

Arguments put forward were that, irrespective of which faith, kids were brought up with morals and in better behaved culture but a counterpoint was that these kids would have a limited growth being around only a certain type of people and stunted development as 'kids just don't get to be kids' and are uncannily angelic.

My background was going to a Roman Catholic school and I can compare my junior school to one 2 blocks away which was a normal mixed state school and the difference was remarkable. We were in uniform, better behaved and performed better in exams. On the other hand, I had to attend all the Christian religious ceremonies, including several masses and even eating the wafer representing the body of Christ... despite being of a different religion!
Due to the confusion caused amongst children of other beliefs, other faith schools have opened up to cater for the different needs but are children going to these schools not having the best childhood?

One of my friends went to a mixed school and he claimed that he preferred it as from a young age he was in a multi cultural society and although it was less behaved, the lessons learnt from the social aspect was irreplaceable. Kids should be able to be kids and if they don't get to any trouble, they're not having a fun time. They should learn the boundaries of their behaviour and learn early on how to deal with situations like bullying, being with girls (some faith schools separate the genders) as well as understanding different cultures and becoming more tolerant.

If you have kids, where would you send your children? Or where have you already sent them and why?